Indy NMI Blog

This past Saturday, it was my first time not sitting at the “Foreign” table at a Christian event I go to.  I walked past the table, where most foreigners sit, to the other side of the room.  It was not an act of “I’m better than” or “I don’t like those women anymore”.  It was actually a hard thing for me to do.  I walked by a table that seemed like my family – so many of them are dear friends I’ve met from going to various things: an International fellowship, a nearby ministry, a women’s conference, etc…   There was so much of me that wanted to sit there, catch up with them with ease and laughter, and of course it would’ve been a lot easier to understand the speakers at this event because at the Foreign table, everything is translated for you.  

But before I came on Saturday, actually the last time I went, I knew I had to do this.  I asked myself, is that really what I need right now, to be comfortable, to continue to sit with women I know and continue to have things translated for me?  Linguistically speaking it can be quite frustrating for your brain when things are being translated for you.  There is a part of your brain that shuts off when you’re around translation.  Each time I’d been to this event before, it was frustrating to work hard at understanding what was being said, only to hear the constant English in the back ground, which then causes my brain to do weird things.   Aside from all that, I thought – I need to also get to know new Croatian women.  

As I made my way to the other side of the room, I was nervous.  Walking away from something comfortable is hard for me to do sometimes.  I knew I would be meeting new people while trying to only speak Croatian.  The perfectionist side of me was freaking out: will I have a hard time communicating – will I forget words – will there be awkward silences…?  

But then I sat down and met a lovely woman to my left that I connected with.  She ended up being really excited about our charity shop and even wants to do a piece about us on her website.  I even survived the slight embarrassment I felt as an older woman across from me, sitting next to my volunteer, finally looked to her and said in English, “Oh, are you also American”  Our volunteer smiled and said, “yeah!”  The woman then said, “I knew right when I sat down that you (meaning Ashley and myself) were American.”  Usually that means we were being a bit too smiley and/or loud.  Ashley and I looked at each other and just shrugged it off with a smile!

And then I ended up sitting next to a dear friend on my right, and got to meet her mom for the first time! She also was so kind as to translate various words for me when the language nerd in me was dying to know a particular verb form or to see if I was saying a phrase the right way.  

And when I left, I realized it had been the best experience at this Women’s event thus far!  I understood SO much more than I have in the past.  I wasn’t lost at all!  I could feel that my brain was in full force – working hard to piece everything together.  I loved it!!  

To some it might seem like a baby step to walk across the room, but for me it felt like a jump.  Jumps are required while living in another country.  Well, I guess they’re not required for living or surviving, but I want to do more than just live and survive here – I want to be intentional about growing WHILE living here. 

This past Saturday, it was my first time not sitting at the “Foreign” table at a Christian event I go to.  I walked past the table, where most foreigners sit, to the other side of the room.  It was not an act of “I’m better than” or “I don’t like those women anymore”.  It was actually a hard thing for me to do.  I walked by a table that seemed like my family – so many of them are dear friends I’ve met from going to various things: an International fellowship, a nearby ministry, a women’s conference, etc…   There was so much of me that wanted to sit there, catch up with them with ease and laughter, and of course it would’ve been a lot easier to understand the speakers at this event because at the Foreign table, everything is translated for you.  

But before I came on Saturday, actually the last time I went, I knew I had to do this.  I asked myself, is that really what I need right now, to be comfortable, to continue to sit with women I know and continue to have things translated for me?  Linguistically speaking it can be quite frustrating for your brain when things are being translated for you.  There is a part of your brain that shuts off when you’re around translation.  Each time I’d been to this event before, it was frustrating to work hard at understanding what was being said, only to hear the constant English in the back ground, which then causes my brain to do weird things.   Aside from all that, I thought – I need to also get to know new Croatian women.  

As I made my way to the other side of the room, I was nervous.  Walking away from something comfortable is hard for me to do sometimes.  I knew I would be meeting new people while trying to only speak Croatian.  The perfectionist side of me was freaking out: will I have a hard time communicating – will I forget words – will there be awkward silences…?  

But then I sat down and met a lovely woman to my left that I connected with.  She ended up being really excited about our charity shop and even wants to do a piece about us on her website.  I even survived the slight embarrassment I felt as an older woman across from me, sitting next to my volunteer, finally looked to her and said in English, “Oh, are you also American”  Our volunteer smiled and said, “yeah!”  The woman then said, “I knew right when I sat down that you (meaning Ashley and myself) were American.”  Usually that means we were being a bit too smiley and/or loud.  Ashley and I looked at each other and just shrugged it off with a smile!

And then I ended up sitting next to a dear friend on my right, and got to meet her mom for the first time! She also was so kind as to translate various words for me when the language nerd in me was dying to know a particular verb form or to see if I was saying a phrase the right way.  

And when I left, I realized it had been the best experience at this Women’s event thus far!  I understood SO much more than I have in the past.  I wasn’t lost at all!  I could feel that my brain was in full force – working hard to piece everything together.  I loved it!!  

To some it might seem like a baby step to walk across the room, but for me it felt like a jump.  Jumps are required while living in another country.  Well, I guess they’re not required for living or surviving, but I want to do more than just live and survive here – I want to be intentional about growing WHILE living here. 

I had the privilege of being in our little store this past Saturday with Dave. It was our first time volunteering together at our shop without our kids!  I looked around and was filled with a sense of gratefulness.  I was grateful that I could sit and quietly have a cup of coffee with Dave in our charity shop without our kids!  But I also felt so grateful to be a part of such a special thing that God has done, and is doing, in this neighborhood! 

Each week at our charity shop, we meet new people, like we did this past Saturday. A man came in with 4 children, and in the course of conversation, I found out they had a 5th one at home – a one month old baby!  I loved that each child found something they could buy, as well as the dad.  I gave them a brochure about us and hope they’ll be by again!!  Often many of the faces that come through our doors on a weekly basis are what I would call our “regulars”.  And what I’ve realized is that behind every money/goods exchange, there is a story.  Our partner, Tomislav, always encourages our volunteers to not just have a money/goods exchange with someone, but to offer to make a cup of coffee or tea and take the time (if possible) to sit down and have a conversation with someone.  

So, today pretend you’re having a cup of coffee and get to know some of the stories that come through our shop on a weekly basis.

(In order to protect their privacy, I’ve listed only the first letter of their names)

Z has become more than a shopper – she is a friend.  She has even made a Croatian special dish for our volunteers one Saturday just out of the kindness of her heart!  Z also has uterine cancer.  We tell her we’re praying for her. Join us in prayer!

H lost his wife about 7 months ago and is lonely.  The main way he makes income is to look through trash for valuable items he can sell, like plastic drink bottles.  He buys new clothes from our shop each week, and tells us that it’s easier for him to buy new clothes than to wash them.  

T was removed from her home when she was only 15, and since then has lived on her own and has no income.  She has taken on many odd jobs to make ends meet, but she is barely making it.  

N comes in with her son and husband, who was out of work for a while.  N knows exactly how much money she has spent at our shop, down to the lipa (“penny”) because they count every lipa. We were really excited to hear the other day that N’s husband has found a job!

L comes in and buys things regularly. She works hard to provide for her family, and she has expressed how excited she is that she can now do that easier from shopping at our shop.

I‘s two daughters came to our English Club this summer. They love coming from time to time to find things they need for the family.  They are a sweet family, and have asked us when we’re doing another English Club!

V came in once and told me how excited she was that she and her boyfriend found a place they could bring things to, that wasn’t what they felt a “shady” place where volunteers keep donationed, instead of making them available to the public. V shared how her mom was British, and how excited she is to be able to use her English! 

B comes in every week. She’s retired, sweet, and loves to talk about her son. Once while I was waiting on her, she gave me all that was in her wallet, even though it didn’t reach the amount I quoted. Right away she was apologetic and said her pension hadn’t come in yet. I smiled at B and told her that of course not to worry about anything!

Each week we strive to be a place of grace, love, generosity, and of compassion.

When you think of us here in Croatia, think of these stories – and pray…pray for them, pray for their families, and pray that we will continue to be a place that doesn’t just receive donations and make them available to the public at very low prices.  While that IS meeting a huge need around us, and something we’re very happy about providing, we also want to make sure we’re being intentional about moving from just being behind the counter to putting ourselves out there.   

I know for me this is quite daunting on days where my Croatian fells a bit “less than”.  But when I do that, when I move from behind the counter, I get to know the stories behind the transactions, the stories behind the donations, the stories behind the purchases, and really begin to see people, and a relationship can begin.